THE JOY OF BEING WITH OTHERS
Relationship Intelligence Director, England
Barry with his lovely daughters, Kattie and Callum. Oh, what simple joy it is!
When I arrived home I had the chance of experiencing my own and my family's joy at being reunited. This morning I sat with my daughter on my knee and listened to her.
-- Barry Smale
Sifu,
I have just returned from attending your Chi Kung and Tai Chi Chuan courses in Ireland. During the course I experienced many wonderful things, the most profound of which were the glimpses of peace of mind.
During the courses you talked about how many people return home and have more joy in being with their loved ones and other people. As you explained, it isn't the loved ones that have changed but the person returning home.
On the final morning of the course I called my wife and children to say hello and that I would be home soon. I listened intently to their voices as they spoke, with no thoughts of anything else. All that came up was a sweet feeling of happiness. Simple but wonderful. And I was aware of it.
When I arrived home I had the chance of experiencing my own and my family's joy at being reunited. This morning I sat with my daughter on my knee and listened to her.
In many of the chi flows during the week I had the feeling that my chest cavity was expanding beyond my physical body. Initially it was as if my body was trying to expand beyond its physical capacity until, during a chi flow following “Golden Shower”, it seemed to spontaneously burst open. It felt like my heart expanded. There was a feeling of simple joy.
You also said something about guilt that struck me profoundly during the course. You said that some people felt guilty they had riches — spiritual or material. You reminded us that this is what God wants for all of us and is nothing to be guilty or ashamed of, if they are honourably obtained.
I realize that for many years I have felt guilty about what good health I have had and the success I have had in both business and my chosen field of psychotherapy. I am beginning to realize that these are things I have honestly worked for. By being guilty or ashamed I have little chance of passing on the blessings I have received. I realize that is no longer necessary. This is still not easy for me but with practice I believe I will become more skillful. Thank you from my heart for this opportunity.
Barry's wife, Judy, and her lovely daughter, Kaite
Although I talk to clients about how their view of life shapes their reality, and have come to realize this in many ways in my own life, it is not something I always remember and use practically in my own life. The week with you and the other course participants has given me a chance to re-experience this directly again many times over. From the invitation to open my meridians to carrying out a previously unimaginable amount of stances and sparring. I am coming to experience the value of learning to focus my mind.
Now is a return to my everyday life and a chance to practice what I have learnt — Chi Kung, Tai Chi Chuan and the joy of being with others.
Thank you for your time and for sharing your wisdom.
Regards
Barry Smale
22nd February 2005.
E-mail:
b.smale@mcmenemyhill.com
Website:
http://www.mcmenemyhill.com/
Sifu's Reply
Dear Barry,
Thanks for your beautiful e-mail. It is a joy to read it.
I am now at the Shaolin Wahnam Centre in Costa Rica at the Garden of Timelessness on the Blue Mountain where there is no telecommunication. I can't even phone home now. But reading your beautiful e-mail makes me think of my youngest daughter at home.
A photograph taken a few years ago showing Sifu Wong with his youngest daughter, Siew Foong, sitting on his lap
She is now grown up, and has a boy friend. Yet, when I am home in Malaysia, she often sits on my lap, like she used to do when she was little. When I phoned home while in Ireland two weeks ago, she asked me, "Papa, haven't you thought of me?"
When I first started travelling the world to spread our arts, my daughter was still little and she became sick every time I left home to teach. I had to console her telling her that I would come home very soon.
But your e-mail, like the many others that kindly thank me for my teaching, makes me feel my sacrifice of being away from home so frequently is worth it. Instead of complaining for not being able to be at home often, our arts have make me reflect that no matter where I travel and for how long, I always have a beautiful, lovely home to return to.
I would like to post your e-mail together with my reply on my website. It will inspire many people. It may help those who have been away from home for any reasons, to attempt to make their home beautiful, so that they too will have a beautiful home to return to. But if you do not wish your e-mail to be posted, please let me know and I shall respect your wishes.
Best regards.
Sifu.
3rd March 2005
Sifu Wong with his youngest daughter, Siew Foong, holidaying in Canada